


Entropy and Forever

by Starlithorizon



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-06
Updated: 2014-05-06
Packaged: 2018-01-23 18:28:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1575233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starlithorizon/pseuds/Starlithorizon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some things are impossible to measure directly. Carlos spends a morning thinking about entropy and love, and Cecil helps him to understand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Entropy and Forever

**Author's Note:**

> So I have this looooooong list of fic ideas, and honestly, the bullet-point for this one was "THOSE STUPID NERDS LOVE EACH OTHER," so that's what you're getting into here. And anyway, this is just a short bit of fluff to combat writer's block and the many, many feelings that came with "Parade Day."

There were some things in life and in nature that were impossible to measure directly. Entropy, for example, was impossible to measure on its own. The decay of the universe, the systematic and inevitable disorder ordering everything was calculated and measured through heat, mostly. Love, as another example, was measured in smaller things. Cups of coffee with just the right amount of milk and sugar. Featherlight kisses to his forehead in the morning. The warmth of his mother's voice through the phone. Care packages with vibrant drawings by his nieces and nephews. Love was measured through little indications and trinkets and touches, though never with anything concrete.

Carlos contemplated this early one morning, with the light slanting rose-gold through the window over the sink. It fell in broad squares over the linoleum floor and his bare feet as he stood at the counter. He could hear Cecil brushing his teeth in the bathroom, prompting this reflection. He made coffee for the both of them, as he did most mornings, and he touched Cecil's mug with something like reverence. It had a small chip in the rim and was emblazoned with the Spiderwolves logo and was hardly special, but that this mug was here in _their_ shared kitchen was extraordinary to Carlos. His own beside it, the first thing he'd ever gotten at his university's bookstore, was even more incredible.

"What do you want for breakfast today?" Cecil called as he walked into the kitchen. He was still in his pajamas, bare toes curling in a little on the cold floor. Carlos shrugged and poured coffee into each mug, adding a heaping spoonful of sugar to Cecil's and a splash of milk to his own. Everything, from the way Carlos's tee-shirt was just a little too short for Cecil, to the way he curled into the warmth of the coffee cup in his hands, to the unfurling of his long braid, was endearing.

"I'm not sure," Carlos said, smiling broadly at Cecil. "What sounds good to you?"

"Mm, something sweet, I think," Cecil said. Carlos grinned, shuffling closer to press a kiss to the end of his boyfriend's nose.

"You are so predictable," he laughed. "French toast, then? I'll make it if you make a fruit salad or something."

"Deal," Cecil said. There was a brief, soft kiss between the two of them before they churned into motion. Cecil hummed a little as he chopped fluorescent green apples, bopping his head slightly and smiling down at his handiwork. Carlos may have burned the toast just a tiny bit while watching Cecil, but not enough to be noticeable. _Really_.

When they sat down at the table with their breakfast, cold glasses of grapefruit juice leaving condensation rings like footsteps, Cecil barely hesitated to take Carlos's left hand across the table.

"Why are you so thoughtful this morning?" he asked, stroking a thumb across the backs of Carlos's knuckles.

He usually looked so sweet and so open and so honest around Carlos, but when it was coupled with the last few threads of sleepiness, it made him want to curl Cecil against his chest and hold him close for forever. Cecil had grown up in Night Vale and was more than capable of taking care of himself, but none of that meant anything to those feelings pooled in Carlos's sternum and palms. Cecil was strong and capable, but Carlos loved him and feared for him with a desperation that stuck in his throat.

Carlos loved him.

"It's been a _rough_ few months, hasn't it?" he asked, sighing heavily after this admission. Considering how often Cecil came to him with pent-up rage, or how often he bit back his agony, or how often he heaved with sobs, _rough_ felt like an understatement. Carlos was always there for Cecil, and always _would_ be there for Cecil, and that would never stop. It wasn't a hardship, but it was terrible to see. It left an ache behind Carlos's eyes as he comforted the man he loved.

Carlos loved Cecil.

"Yes," Cecil agreed softly. "It has."

"I just— Sometimes it hits me, you know? It hits me that everything around us is dangerous, and sometimes a lot of it _is_ malevolent, and I always wonder if I do enough to help. You and half of the citizens of this town call me a hero, but all I do is build devices and take samples and run tests. Dave and Rachelle and everyone else, they're much more heroic than I am. And you always say that I'm reliable, and I try my hardest to be that for you, even though I know I'm reckless, and..."

He took a deep breath, stalling and filling his lungs with bravery.

"I'm scared, Cecil. I'm scared that it won't be enough. I'm scared that it will be too much. I'm scared because the world outside is so dangerous and unpredictable and I can't tell you often enough how much I love you."

Cecil smiled softly, like flower petals or his hands or the smell of grass on a hot summer day. He smiled softly and he rubbed concentric circles into the back of Carlos's hand and he _understood_.

"I grew up here," Cecil said slowly, walking through his words and picking the right ones very carefully. "And you're right: the world is dangerous, and unpredictable, and vast, and terrifying. Even growing up with it, I've never gotten used to it. I've never forgotten. Life is short and so fragile, but that's the only thing that keeps me brave. And Carlos? You can be brave and scared shitless at the same time."

They both laughed at that, maybe a touch hysterically, and Carlos exhaled fully. Everything was some degree of terrifying, and everything was some degree of amazing. He just had to find the beauty in the disorder, the perfection in entropy, the warm hand waiting for his in the dark. He wasn't the only one who was afraid all the time, and that was strangely, blissfully comforting.

"I love you, Cecil," he said. It rang out with simple honesty in the sunlit kitchen, one square of light warming their feet under the table.

"I love you too, Carlos."

And there it was. Some things were useful and impossible to measure, like entropy and danger, so one calculated these things as best they could and hoped for the best. And some things...

Well, some things would always be more than enough, and their love was one of those things.


End file.
